Dismantle. Repair.

In the past few months I have made a discovery.  My interest in Richard Armitage is always there but it spikes dramatically when I am severely depressed. It comes about in two different ways.  I start to feel I have too much in my life to cope with and then proceed to shut down and shut out everything. Months afterwards I have catapulted myself to the other extreme and realize I have systematically deconstructed my whole life and am occupying an existence devoid of anything besides me and my bed. Both extremes prompt me to focus on something else, completely outside of my life, enter the Armitage. Every time I close myself off from my life, I reacquaint myself with all things Armitage.  I'm a fan of him always but when I'm that far down it becomes a compulsion, its all I will focus on.  I have yet to conclude whether its helping or hindering me in those times. The helpful side is that I focus on something that makes me happy, a exploding kind of happiness, sometimes when I watch him in a favorite role, or read a great fanfic, I feel like I've swallowed the sun and its beaming out of me.  Fleeting, but it reassures me that I can feel happiness, I'm not beyond that entirely, even if what is making me happy is not tangible. But the negative side is that it really brings out some OCD thought processes.  Jury's still out.

"Your willfullness will kill you."

Definitely took me over a week to publish this. I don't even know why, but you never know who will wander across it and I guess I'm still incredibly self-conscious even online and mostly anonymous.

Guy Spice

     Whenever I see Richard on the screen doing one of his signature smolders this is immediately what goes through my head, and it works so well with Guy of Gisborne...

Hello ladies.

Look at your man.

Now back to me.

Now back at your man.

Now back to me.

Sadly, he isn’t me. But if he stopped using ladies’ scented body wash and switched to Guy Spice he could smell like he’s me.

Look down. Back up.

Where are you? You’re in a tree with the Guy your guy could smell like.

What’s in your hand?

Back at me. I have it. It’s roses with a dvd of that thing you love.

 Look again. The gifts are now diamonds

! Anything is possible when your man smells like  Guy Spice and not a lady.

I'm on a horse.

Guy of Gisborne and Marian Video

Well, if I'm going to acknowledge and embrace my fascination with Richard Armitage I figured I should go all in. After months of hanging around on RA focused blogs and websites silently, I've started this one. And after watching endless fan-made videos featuring my favorite leading man I made one myself. Now....if I can figure out how to get it on this blog the way I want it. Being new to the blogosphere it's all kind of touch and go. Cheers.