Silhouettes

Always liked these:

And now they are even better 

because I actually see this:

North & South, episode 3, my edit.

If you can drag your eyes away from the main attraction of the picture
(very difficult, I know),

 you'll notice there in the lower left a pair of silhouettes(there are actually five on that wall but most of the brief scene only features these two. Bit of romanticism to the scenery as he asserts that the he does not know or care what people are saying about Margaret...liar). 

And naturally I envision more of this:

North & South, episode 2, my edit.

So with a profile as striking as that, I now constantly associate 

Richard Armitage with all portrait silhouettes because
he would be perfect for one
and I want one of him. 
Argghhh.....that nose. Made for it.

Also I am not opposed to the idea of merging our two silhouettes and seeing how that turns out.

Dismantle. Repair.

In the past few months I have made a discovery.  My interest in Richard Armitage is always there but it spikes dramatically when I am severely depressed. It comes about in two different ways.  I start to feel I have too much in my life to cope with and then proceed to shut down and shut out everything. Months afterwards I have catapulted myself to the other extreme and realize I have systematically deconstructed my whole life and am occupying an existence devoid of anything besides me and my bed. Both extremes prompt me to focus on something else, completely outside of my life, enter the Armitage. Every time I close myself off from my life, I reacquaint myself with all things Armitage.  I'm a fan of him always but when I'm that far down it becomes a compulsion, its all I will focus on.  I have yet to conclude whether its helping or hindering me in those times. The helpful side is that I focus on something that makes me happy, a exploding kind of happiness, sometimes when I watch him in a favorite role, or read a great fanfic, I feel like I've swallowed the sun and its beaming out of me.  Fleeting, but it reassures me that I can feel happiness, I'm not beyond that entirely, even if what is making me happy is not tangible. But the negative side is that it really brings out some OCD thought processes.  Jury's still out.

"Your willfullness will kill you."

Definitely took me over a week to publish this. I don't even know why, but you never know who will wander across it and I guess I'm still incredibly self-conscious even online and mostly anonymous.

Couldn't help it, couldn't sleep, couldn't get this Pixies song out of my head. So I made this, fairly ineptly.